Stroke Survivors: Stay Away--Mayhem, Mishaps, and Murder on Black Friday

I usually write a post about Black Friday this time of year, the marked up and then seemingly discounted products that everyone goes searching for in the malls and stand-alone stores. People are trampled to death, with their bodies stepped on repeatedly that happens in the prodigious crowd. The workers lose any semblance of their "thanksgiving" and the shopping frenzy makes the greedy buyers do what they wouldn't do at any other time of year--mayhem, mishaps, and murder. 

Look at this chart from The Hustle dating from 2006 to 2018:

We don't have this year's numbers, but I bet it follows the same trend, with Walmart having the most notorious amounts of injuries and deaths. 

Cyber Monday doesn't have those problems. This year, more holiday shopping will be done online than in the store. The injury and death count for Cyber Monday? Zero. Fuck Jeff Bezos who doesn't pay a decent living wage to his workers, but as a handicapped person, I'm a hypocritical fan of Amazon Prime.  

Black Friday is no place for the disabled. If you've already gone to stand in those inordinate lines and came out alive and are disabled, good for you. You got lucky. 

Hey! I've got an idea. If you like confrontation which Black Friday already is, why don't you go to a protest instead. Stand up for the Green New Deal, climate change, free college, Medicare for all, healthy drinking water, and there's always somebody who thinks the opposite. At least, if you obey the cops and stay on your side of the "line," everybody wins. 

Warfarin: A Blood Thinner and Rat Poison Shouldn't Be in the Same Sentence

I got a brain bleed 13 years ago and I wasn't supposed to live. I had Protein S Deficiency that gave me blood clots and didn't know it for over half my lifetime until I was diagnosed with a hemorrhagic stroke. The neurosurgeon didn't operate because the chance that I would have survived the operation was zero, having thick and plentiful clots in every extremity. Instead, I was put on Warfarin, another name for Coumadin, and here I am, a decade later.  

A little background first. The only restrictions with Warfarin are too much Vitamin K intake, like lots of kale, broccoli, or leafy green vegetables. The most important thing with Warfarin is to stay consistent. By staying consistent, the doctor knows how much Warfarin to give me through a prothrombin time (PT), a test used to detect a bleeding or clotting disorder and the international normalized ratio (INR) used to monitor how well the blood-thinning medication called anticoagulant is working. I take blood tests frequently and I am stable. 

So how could Warfarin, the wonder drug, and Warfarin, the rodent poison, be related? 

A long time ago, in the late 1920s, the cattle and sheep in North America and Canada were dying from fatal bleeding, blamed on mouldy silage, (a method used to maintain the pasture for cows and sheep to eat later and stored in the silos when natural pasture isn't beneficial, like in the dry season).

The cattle and sheep had grazed on sweet clover, a kind of hay. Hemorrhaging occurred usually when the climate was damp and the hay had become moldy. Tough times in the 1920s meant that farmers could not afford a replacement, so the hemorrhagic disease became known as "sweet clover disease."

There were only 2 solutions, according to veterinary surgeons: destroying the moldy hay and having a replacement or transfusing fresh blood into the bleeding animals which was called "plasma prothrombin defect."  

But everything comes down to money, and even though the farmers were told not to feed the moldy hay, they did not follow the recommendation, and sweet clover disease remained, even a decade later. 

By 1940, Karl Link, a biochemist, and his colleagues came upon a natural substance called coumarin, better known as dicoumarol from the sweet clover and was used as an anticoagulant, albeit an iffy one. The work was fully financed by the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation (WARF), who were given the patent for dicoumarol in 1941. 

But in 1945, knowing that dicoumarol was a lengthy process in thinning the blood, Link considered using the coumarin derivative Warfarin as a rodenticide which had the reverse effect--slow bleeding until the little suckers bit the dust. Bleeding in who-cares-about-rodents fit the bill, and the compound was named Warfarin after the funding agency. It was marketed in 1948 as a rodenticide, and warfarin still exists today as both a rodent killer and a blood thinner. 

In 1954, Warfarin became known as the go-to anticoagulant under the trade name Coumadin, and was approved for use in humans and, of course, rodents. But in humans, when there was still too much bleeding, Vitamin K foods reversed the effect. And too much Vitamin K led to clots. That is why I have to stay in the INR range of 2 to 3 when I get tested--above 3 could lead to bleeding and I have to take more Vitamin K; under 2 could lead to blood clots so I have to decrease my Vitamin  K. Thus, I get tested every other week.

The mechanism of Warfarin was not discovered until 1978, when John W. Suttie and colleagues, in an "Aha moment," proved that Warfarin alters Vitamin K by slowing down the enzyme epoxide reductase, known as VKOR, which is highly sensitive to Warfarin, the most commonly prescribed anticoagulant. 

There it is, folks, as easily as I could say it. My trademark is, Know a little bit about a lot of stuff and you'll get by fine.

A Christian Inspires a Jew to Believe in God Once Again

I wrote this short piece for the newsletter that’s coming. But I  decided to share it with all of you, my loyal readers worldwide. For a little more than 8 years after I had my stroke, I lost faith in God. Why, dear God, did you let that happen to me? I asked repeatedly, begging, imploring.

But then I heard Clem Suder talk about his faith in my online support group and especially his Live at 5 on Facebook, and something clicked as if God was speaking to him. Clem is a Christian and a veteran who has a brain injury; I am a Jew who has never served and had a stroke. But we share the brain injury and God. You are witnessing the outcome here in my writing this statement:

Fact: Having a stroke is not a good thing. I got mine from Protein S Deficiency. Others got theirs from too much fatty foods or too high blood pressure or smoking or diabetes or something else completely unknown to them. Whatever the reason, it turns your life around, and your family's life, too, because you're a different person now. Depressed? Frustrated? Low self esteem? I get it because I know as a stroke survivor, and depending on the severity, you may have many more reasons to give up. Or die.

But here's something, after 10 years, I learned about myself. As the years went on, I am more compassionate, wanting to donate to causes when I don't have much money left at all. I am more easy going now, letting things go with the flow, which is new to  me, having worked many jobs where the pressure was too much to bear. And the most important thing now in the after effects of the stroke (and trust me, there are after effects) is when I do good for other people, I don't expect anything in return. No quid pro quo, as the expression goes. 

So I am a better person now as I approach the end of the tunnel. And yes, for all the mistakes I made in the past--like cursing, hissy fits, and gossiping--I am turning my life around for the better. I hope when the Judgement Day comes, He'll see it that way.

And while I have your attention, please contribute, even a dollar makes a difference, to the campaign I started in GoFundMe.com for Clem as me, the editor. Clem produced a video book and now, he wants to take those same words and publish it in book form. He has seen Heaven, and Hell in both a metaphoric and real sense. You can search for Clem by typing “Clem veteran” on GoFundMe and you will see his image,  asking for support in publishing his book. Thanks for whatever you can do.

Can Hypnosis Improve Me as a Stroke Survivor to the Point Where I Could Abandon My Cane? Read What the Hypnotists Told ME!

I had this idea because I'm desperate to get better faster. I'm in the same holding pattern for almost a year. Sad to say, I've plateaued. But could I get better? No one will give me a definitive answer because no one has a crystal ball--my own current physical therapist least of all! Hypnosis, I thought, to make the muscles go beyond where they currently are, in order to make me walk again without the assistance of my 4-legged cane! 

I'm not going off topic, but this is something that needs to be said from the top. I'm from Philadelphia, home of the cheesesteak and soft pretzels. Other places I visited are known for other things, like New York is known for its pizza. Florida is known for its big bugs and DisneyWorld. Maine is known for its lobsters. But Southeast Portland, where I am now, is filled with all kinds of storefronts and buildings I just didn't see in other places, like a lot of, an inordinate amount of, Natural Remedies and Acupuncture run by naturopaths and Hypnosis run mostly by psychologists (or those purporting). Portland is the land of possibilities. Not guarantees, mind you, but a whole bunch of probable maybes.

I made an appointment with someone whose card reads: Whole Individual Counseling: Counseling the Array of Self Growth. Hoo, boy! (Another Philadelphia expression, at least I always say it). Anything goes in Portland. 

I'm going to paraphrase what he told me, scribbled down right after I left, and the words in brackets are what I thought to myself. Here's the paraphrased conversation from the counselor:

This is one thing that might [operative word here] help: I can give you a recording that you may listen to on a daily basis, and you can imagine your legs and arms moving with your eyes closed. [No talk of hypnosis yet]. Unlike the movies where a hypnotist gets somebody to do unlikely things, the thing that might work for you is listen to the recording several times a day. [No talk  of hypnosis still]. With your eyes closed, imagine moving your thumb. [I didn't, of course. My arm has been dead for 10 years]. He asked how long I went to physical therapy as the session was ending, and I said, Off and on for 10 years. [So the typical physical therapy was the fallback. And then the session was a minute from ending]. You might try a clinical psychologist. [I asked, but he didn't recommend one]. 

So I tried three "clinical psychologists" who advertised their sessions as such, and they all said, more or less, the same thing: Hypnosis can only control what you're able to do physically. [To say it another way, I can't do most shit]. Hypnosis can help with anger management, insomnia, phobias, and fears but not walking cane-less.

So with that hypnosis idea ended, I imagined ways to stay happy yet challenged. Aside from writing which, in itself, is challenging to the hilt, I love being alive and, come to think of it, life is a challenge, too. 

A Brain-Injured Guy, Who's Also a Veteran Named Clem, Needs a Volunteer to Transcribe

Clem Suder, presently 68 years old, was just an ordinary guy and a veteran, supporting his family and working hard as a regional operations manager. Fourteen years ago, he started to not feel so well in the middle of the night, and began to go downstairs to the kitchen where he stored all the medication. 

Suddenly, he toppled over and fell down a complete flight of stairs. His son found him 24 hours later. As a result of that fall, he got a traumatic brain injury (TBI), with severe memory issues, but you would never know. He looks fine on the outside, which goes to prove the old adage, Disability comes in many forms. 

By his own admission, Clem was, at first, fearful to talk about what he had witnessed. "People would think I'm crazy." 

Clem says, "This book, Playing with God, is my witness to what God has shown me in my body, mind and spirit. It is my witness to our Father, the Creator of all. In order to understand, see it through the spirit's eye and the heart's beats. It is for this reason the media has been ruining itself and yourself so you will not believe what you see with your own eyes. They are trying to convince you to not believe what you see."

That last part from the New Testament deserves an  explanation. As Clem said: "The city from heaven is what will be it is important because it shows that this is not the only room and that all of God's children will be reunited. It triggers the second resurrection because of the fear that many face. A thousand years earlier the temple that lies in the street for three days is the second witness, and He will rise even though the people rejoiced at his death thinking they have killed their accuser. It is upon his raising from the dead that the first resurrection is triggered because then he goes to his Father and is given the scroll and breaks the seventh seal. 

"In essence, it brings hell to earth for all those who seek to be apart and refuse to acknowledge God. It is important that people see for themselves. What was written so long ago will happen, as it says, and there are several descriptions of what people saw as the end of days. 

"Each has validity, but I only together will it be true, no one may know the time or the day, but you can see all of the things needed for it to occur. This is one of the primary reasons I have been a witness today. It will permanently remove the past and the fear which is what will allow for all of God's people to be together."

Before I met Clem, Daniel, the co-founder of the group Strokefocus, first began calling me five years ago because of my blog, The Tales of a Stroke Patient and More, and said that he was forming a group of stroke and other TBI survivors. I assured him I did want to join. That group included Clem, aside from a whole bunch of wonderful people, and I didn't know of his intentions to write a book until three years later.

It was a video book, on Facebook, where a steady stream of followers watched him deliver a total of eight chapters of Playing with God every Tuesday and Thursday until the eighth and final chapter. (He also runs Live at Five 3 days a week to talk about doing the right things, no matter what denomination you are). I call him the Prophet because of what he saw and did about it. 

On my Timeline from Facebook, the eight spoken chapters are there. Clem is a gentle, soft-spoken soul, and he speaks with such conviction that I restored my belief in God because of Clem which I lost when I had the stroke 10 years ago. 

But Clem is not done. He wants an actual "book" book with the same title, Playing with God. I offered to edit the book for which Clem was appreciative, but I am asking my readership around the world if someone will volunteer to put Clem's words on paper, i.e. transcribe what Clem has spoken and then send them to me in an email. The average length of each of the eight chapters is 45 minutes. You will be given name credit for transcribing aside from doing a wonderful deed to help Clem.  

As the editor, you can write to me--hcwriter@gmail.com--or if you have Facebook, you can write me a private message to show your interest. 

Thanks to you, whomever you may be, for assisting with this effort. 

My Meditation Journal of Headspace.com: It Helps Stroke Survivors Like Me with Anxiety, Frustration, and Possibly Even Depression

About a year ago, I started armchair yoga in which, no surprise there, I was meditating in the chair. But slowly, after 10 sessions, I quit because I couldn't do some of the "moves" as a stroke survivor. But I always thought that meditation was the way to go until my son suggested Headspace, a meditation forum. 

This is what Headspace promises to do: 

"The life-changing skills of meditation in just a few minutes a day with Headspace. Find hundreds of sessions on physical health, personal growth, stress management, and anxiety relief. They are all designed to help you stress less, focus more, and feel better. Download Headspace to meditate anywhere, anytime, and start living a healthier, happier life."

So Headspace was it and I kept a journal of my experiences. I went through it once as a participant, and then I went through it again and wrote the journal because I had to keep my eyes closed about 80% or more most of the time. And no, I'm not getting anything like money from Headspace. Just a fan is all. 

Headspace has over 1,000,000 users and it's free for just the tryout. It cost me $95.88 minus $23.97 for a one-year subscription through retailmenot.com's discounted code.

Click here: https://www.retailmenot.com/view/headspace.comu=YYOW7IXZXJFYXOETYAVD4C4QMY

Headspace is moderated by someone I'll call M (for  Moderator). He has an even, British or Australian voice which is both soothing and inviting. 

I'll give you my opinion on whether Headspace was worth it after my journal. 

Meditation in 10-minute intervals per session: Basics 1

Day 1

With my eyes closed, the moderator (whom I will refer to, again, as M) suggested inhaling and exhaling while peeking to see how much time had gone by. I was so relaxed that after the 10-minute session, I fell asleep on the sofa for 2 hours.

Day 2

Before long, M told me to close my eyes as I counted my breaths which should come to around 10 with the inhale-exhale. M said I should travel along my body and see if the outsides or insides of my feet felt more or less pressure, and the heaviness of my arms letting thoughts in my brain achieve comfort. I peeked again. Then the last minute, M said to open my eyes and let the brain be my focus once again. I still haven't mastered the rhythm.

Day 3

With eyes closed, M began with my "looking" in my mind at traffic when I came to a stop. No peeking, I decided. M then focused on my body, scanning it, and keeping feet on floor, and by the third minute, I was in a self-induced trance, letting his voice soothe me. I listened to him to regain focus and then opened my eyes. I believe that meditation helps, but I’m not convinced yet.

Day 4

Always the breathing—in with my nose, out with my mouth. During this session, M allowed more time to let the mind wander, and it did. I heard from an old friend Robyn who says she is taking a trip to Alaska via a cruise, and I went from there to how hard it is to pack for a cruise. And then M interrupted my thoughts and said to go back to the body. He asked how I felt compared to the first session. Different indeed. I could control the mind better to things, and then to revert to the body, which happened several times.

Day 5

M began with we overthink the process of meditation, and it delays it. Instead, enjoy the feeling of pausing to catch your breath and balance. Once again, M told me to breath and count the breaths, and lose focus by letting my mind do whatever it wants, and then regaining focus, as a sort of good mind control.

Day 6

M said I have to be comfortable in the space around me. Breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth and count the breaths. Then close my eyes until you get to ten and then start over. It became easier to count the breaths. I believe this was the longest stretch of breathing, but by now, it was almost second nature. The operative word here is "almost."

Day 7

M suggested watching a mind video. The video was of a person with clouds forming, until those terrifying clouds produced rain. The session continued with my picturing blue sky all around me. Again, counting breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on the body. Scan the aches. It’s become easier now to get into the swing of those sessions, without peeking until it was time to open my eyes. I feel good after a 10-minute session, and have not a bit of anxiety. I’ve already decided that my day will go well.

Day 8

M said to sit comfortably, feet on the floor, an often refrain by now. After I got to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, I was told to scan down the bod, and after, let the mind do what it wants. Then I was told to focus on the body and scan again. I opened my eyes on command and M reminded me of the mind’s ability to be at peace. The mind is at peace when I finished the session.

Day 9

This session started the same as all the others, but this time he told us to notice the sounds around us without passing judgment. He reminded us that the body strengthens on the inhale and gets soft on the exhale. I didn’t think about that before. He had us scan a couple of times—head to toe—and then let the mind be non-judgmental. M had me open my eyes, and this exercise, which was beneficial, taught me that I do have control over the mind. Day 9 was a breakthrough session. I HAVE CONTROL!

Day 10

Again the blue sky analogy. Each day is a new chance to practice mindfulness and feel happier and healthier. Be aware of the environment with eyes closed. Basics helps me to get more clarity and calmness into my life. Maybe it is the power of suggestion, but I didn’t freak out with anger in the past 10 days and I had many opportunities to do just that. Personally, I think meditation and me are going to get along just fine. 

Meditation in 15-minute intervals: Basics 2

Day 11

This session was devoted to my own feelings and those feelings of those around me in an attempt to get us to see that meditation doesn’t just affect me. It affects everyone around me, too. M had me scan the body and listen to the sounds around me and then go back to the mind and concentrate. Then let the mind do whatever it wants and bring myself back to focus, all of which was an attempt to have control over my mind.

Day 12

Much the the same, but I can control the mind better, letting the mind do whatever it wants to do, and then bring the attention back to the body. I feel happy today after this meditation because I finally realize that I have control.

Day 13

Sometimes, we all feel like we have to do something else to make us truly happy, but that’s not necessarily true. I’m happy right now knowing I can control the brain--anxiety, most obsessive-compulsive behaviors (as related to anxiety), frustration gone, during the session and throughout the day. M said the same thing—noticing when I started and how I feel now. 

Day 14

Longer spaces to breathe, and then counting my breaths. M said to let the mind go, and then bring the focus back to the body. About halfway through, M said to picture blue skies, and I did until I opened my eyes at the end. It was a good session because, once again, I controlled the mind.

Day 15

The mind is restless, but I know how to control it now. Blue skies and bringing the mind back to the body. Then M said to allow the mind to go free, experiencing the senses, and ultimately bring the mind back to the body. Again, there was more time to let me practice control. 

Day 16

M, as always, start with breathing—in through the nose, and out with the mouth. I didn’t realize it, after a while, that I didn’t feel the chair around me until he said be aware of the chair at the final comments. Well spent 15 minutes.

Day 17

Restlessness, sleepiness, agitation completely gone. No resistance to sounds M wants me to hear. Deep breaths then returning to normal breathing with closing the eyelids and scanning again. It's beneficial for me and those around me, M said. Count the breaths, but watch each one. Notice the differences. I let the mind do whatever it wants to do and didn't feel the physical contact with the chair. Opening my eyes, M said meditation is a journey. I cannot disagree.

Day 18

M started off with feeling the weight of the body and feeling the resistance. Breathing again and soon normal breathing. M told me to acknowledge any strong, obvious motion. Scan the body. Recognize those around me as well as myself. More familiar rhythm with counting breaths. Resist any pain in the body. Then let the mind be completely free to do whatever it wants to do and followed by refocus to the body. Comfort comes when you acknowledge the pain. And it did.

Day 19

Obstacles arise, and one of the more obvious is daydreams. Mind wandering can be overcome by bringing the attention back to the body. Create distance, almost as if I'm looking at my body apart from myself. Scan the body. Count breaths. Notice the rise and fall with breaths. Come back to the body. Notice any sounds, and reflect back on thoughts--maybe pleasant, maybe not. Thoughts can be enjoyable, but if we let the mind wander whenever it wants, we miss opportunities to be mindful.

Day 20

From a technical point of view, it makes the mind more flexible. Experience the weight of the body. Notice sounds. Then bring the attention back to the body. Scan down the body. Count the breaths. Feelings come and go, noticing if there is any sense of resistance. Let the mind wander off and then bring the focus back to the body. Apply these skills to everyday life.

Meditation in 20-minute intervals: Basics 3

Day 21

There’s a way to tame the mind. Be present. Be aware of physical sensations and sounds. Scan the body, noticing any discomfort. Take a moment for motivation and the impact for me and others. Be aware of the rising and falling in natural rhythm. Count the breaths. If you find that a distraction occurs, focus on each breath. Rising and falling, said M, with each breath and bringing the mind back to the body. Then let the mind do whatever it wants to do. Bring the attention back to the body and into the awareness. 

Day 22

The more I do this meditation, the more natural it would be, the easier it translates to everyday life. Deep breaths and then regular breathing. The physical senses are becoming more familiar in the space around me. Check in with the body. Scan down from head to toe. Notice if there’s any mood or emotion that’s especially obvious right now while silently counting the breaths. M said to let the mind do whatever it wants to do, complete freedom for the mind, then revert the mind back to the body. Observe the weight of the body. Continue the exercise throughout the day. It's all right if I fail. I'll just resume.

Day 23

M says to take breaths, in the same fashion, conscious of the space around me just settling in. Attention back to the body. Scan down the body, not lingering in order to become more aware. Let the mind go free and then back to the body—an exercise in controlling the mind. Notice how each breath was different from the last. Let the mind wander again, and then bring it back to the body. Notice the physical sensation and the space around me. Jog my memory to be aware during the day. 

Day 24

M told me that it doesn’t matter where I am. I can take long breaths without drawing attention. Then he started with taking deep breaths. Then close my eyes while becoming more aware of the weight of the body and sounds around. Scan down through the body for both comfort and discomfort. Start to notice any strong moods or emotions and any motivation including those around me. Then bring the attention back to the body, noticing how every breath is slightly different. I hear the sounds of the busy street, but they don’t bother me anymore. Count the breaths. Let go and give the mind all the space it wants. And then attention back to the body. The session was a particularly good one. 

Day 25

Another way to integrate meditation in your life is smell of food or atmosphere. Close the eyes and feel the weight of the body pressing down. Start to notice any emotion particularly strong right now. Scan down and remind myself why I'm doing it, for myself and those people around me. Maintain that focus and count your breaths. If any distraction, bring the attention back to the body. Let go of any focus and permit the mind to be free. And then bring the attention back to the body and feeling the weight of the body and noticing all the senses around me.

Day 26

M reminded that you can do meditation during the day, turning it into a way of living, becoming more aware of the sounds around you. Check in with the body and scan down, noticing how the body feels and any strong emotions. Understand the mind clearly to me and those around me. Bring the attention back to the body, more aware of the rising and falling sensation. Count the breaths. The moment I realize that the mind is being distracted, bring my attention back to the body. And now letting it go and give the mind space to do whatever it wants. Bring the attention back to the body, noticing my feet on the floor and sounds. Gently open my eyes, maintaining my posture with quality of awareness instead of immediately jumping up.

Day 27

If you’re like most people, you spend so much time lost in thought. Breathe and watch the rise and fall of the body. Settle in and notice sounds around me, how the body feels by scanning down. Continue down toward the feet, being aware of how the body feels and the emotional as well, being aware of the movement of breath, and the motivation and the relationships in my life. Let go of any thinking and where in the body I feel that rhythm. Count the breaths until 10, and start over again. The moment I realize I'm being distracted, bring the attention back to the body. No need to concentrate, letting the mind do whatever it wants to do. And then bring attention back to the body, the weight of the body and sounds transitioning. Be aware of sitting to standing, standing to sitting, because even though it seems automatic, we often forget to be mindful of those actions.

Day 28

I need to be present in the automatic movement of standing and sitting, taking deep breaths and closing my eyes, separating the different physical senses. Scan down through the body, becoming more aware. Take a moment to clarify the positive impact on myself and those around me. Notice the rhythm of the breaths. Count the breaths. Bring the attention back to the breath if I find myself distracted. With the next out-breath, let the mind do whatever it wants to do. Then bring the attention back to the body. Make  sure I am remaining aware of the movements.

Day 29

It may seem repetitious, but this is the foundation for more easily accomplishing meditation. With the next out-breath, close the eyes and realize the senses around me. Scan down and become more aware of how the body feels while scanning down. Identify why I'm doing this exercise to have a positive effect for myself and those around me. 

Day 30

M said to just be aware and integrating meditation into my daily life with a calm and patient, not reactive, mind. Take deep breaths and close the eyes. Noticing weight of the body, settle into the space around you. Detect any sounds and becoming more aware of how the body feels. Not thinking, just noticing. Motivation is for myself and those around me. Count the breaths as they pass each time. At the next out breath, let the mind do whatever it wants to do. Bring the attention back to the body, feet on the floor, just recognizing the senses. Congratulations, M said, but this is only the beginning. 

The end of the journal and my thoughts here:

Sure, it's repetitious, but that's what training is all about. My motto was, give the class a heads up by telling them what they're going to learn, teach it, and wrap up by telling them what they learned in the session. I haven't had anxiety or frustration in the past 30 days, and when it comes to depression (which I don't have anymore after 8 years, decreasing slowly every year), Headspace will probably make a difference, too, if you follow all the words that M says exactly. 

The Basics are a small part of what Headspace offers. There are the many sessions, for example on stress, sleep, health, confidence, self esteem, and happiness, and more--even emergency sessions if you find that you're losing your grip with reality or just angry enough to start throwing anything that's handy. Can you tell I'm a fan of Headspace? Indeed, I am!  

Headspace is worth it, for its calming and relaxing effect which I need. Politics aside (or including), my hunch is that you need it, too, for this crazy world in which we are living. 

As Headspace says, "Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life with Headspace." Who wouldn't want that!

An "Almost Vegan" Speaks Out: Me and the Plant-Based Diet

I never liked eggs as a young child, and I stopped eating dairy and red meat last year when I was told by others that those foods were inflammatory. 

My Asian doctor threw up his hands when I told him that I'm an "almost vegan." Instead of saying "oy vey" (the Yiddush expression for "here comes trouble"), he mumbled something under his breath that was the equivalent, I believe, because I'm taking a blood thinner, and "almost vegan" didn't sit well with him. 

Blood thinner people have to watch their intake of Vitamin K and have blood tests scheduled on a regular basis. Too much Vitamin K can cause clotting, too little causes bleeding when you're taking Coumadin. The main thing is, take Vitamin K in a consistent way, the same foods every day, which is at best a challenge. (There are other blood thinners, but if bleeding start to happen, they don't have an antidote that's prevalent, but they're working on it. Any day now, the hematologist said).

So, returning to the story, all that was left was chicken and pork. And let's not forget sheep who are killed by the age of one to give us lamb chops, and I don't eat lamb because I saw a special once on lambs' torturous slaughter. For fuck's sake. 

All of this change in diet happened because I'm reading (son recommended) the book "How Not to Die," a documented tome by Dr. Michael Greger (available on Amazon) which, by the way, recently become an international best-seller. In the book, he gives descriptions of chicken and pork who are confined in tiny spaces and brutally slaughtered that would send waves of chills down anybody's spine. And don't forget the feces that get mixed up in the annihilation of these animals. So I'm there, hating all of it.

So welcome to a Plant-Based Diet. I guess I'm a vegan now although not exclusively. I'd say an "almost vegan." I want to say it's for moral reasons that I eat no meat or the by-products of animals that produce eggs and dairy. Rather, as a stroke survivor, it makes utterly no sense not to be lean. It would mean lugging around that extra weight and I don't want to do that anymore. And plant-based means weight loss.

To define the difference between vegans and vegetarians, although all vegans tend to follow the same set of clear cut rules by eating nothing that came from an animal, there are a few different types of vegetarian diets.

Lacto-ovo from the Latin words for milk and egg, is the most common type of vegetarian. As the name suggests, people who follow this diet eat dairy products and eggs but avoid meat, poultry, and seafood.

Lacto vegetarians eat dairy products but no eggs, meat, poultry or seafood.

Ovo vegetarians eat eggs but no dairy products, meat, poultry or seafood.

Pescatarians eat fish and other seafood but no poultry or meat and they may eat eggs and dairy.

Flexitarians eat meat at most once a week and they may eat eggs and dairy.

Then there are vegans who choose this restrictive diet for moral reasons about animal welfare. But I would be dishonest in saying so. I am an "almost vegan" because the real reason is, I'm allergic to fur and woolen fabric, and leather next to my skin makes me overheated. And I am an "almost vegan" because make-up products tested on animals first doesn't seem to bother me. 

Vegans also avoid honey, but I don't. Plantbasednews.org says, "Farmers are known to replace the honey they remove from a hive with a sugar substitute, which is substantially worse for the bees' health. The cheap sugar replacer lacks the nutrients, fats, and vitamins that honey has. This unethical practice prompts honey bees to overwork themselves to replace the missing honey.

"Beekkepers will clip the queen bees' wings to prevent them from leaving the hive and producing a new colony elsewhere - which would slash productivity and profit. Queen bees are also often artificially inseminated." Horrible, yet don't think about it enough at the moment. 

Also, it’s super important to ask how restaurant food is made before ordering it. Many soups, stock, and sauces that don’t seem to contain meat are made with chicken or beef broth (or maybe you subscribe to the if-you-don't-see-it, it-isn't-there philosophy that is my roll at times when I'm super-tired to just ask), and fried foods may be made with lard, known as fat from a pig. Eew-wee-oooh! I never forget to ask.

These vegan/vegetarian diets can be very nutritious, but v/v need to be recognize nutrition deficiencies like the following:  dairy products are a primary source of calcium and vitamin D, so vegans and vegetarians should eat lots of dark leafy greens that are rich in calcium and take supplements to replace Vitamin D. 

Also, dark leafy greens have Vitamin K, and lots of it, which if I eat them consistently, through trial and error, the blood tests will eventually be fine. Plus no cranberries ever, a small amount of blueberries, very limited dark chocolate, soy in extreme moderation, and so many more restrictions. Thus, the Asian doctor's reaction. 

Better yet, read the book to discover nutritional replacement alternatives, like B12 which is necessary to prevent anemia and found in animal products.

Vegetables, fruit, grains, nuts, and beans will fit for both diets depending on how they're prepared. Good thing I like all of them. 

People always ask me, with a doubtful look on their faces, "How about needed protein found in meat and dairy?" That's an easy one. There are peas, lentils, brown rice, and quinoa, for example, that are packed with protein. Forget the soy and hemp seeds. Too much of them and they could be lethal.

Taking Coumadin, blood thinner royale, and getting enough Vitamin K are complicated, but I like challenges. This challenge, also getting the consistent amount of Vitamin K as an "almost vegan," is a tough one, but it's do-able. I feel a new sense of vigor and energy on this plant-based diet. Plant-based just makes sense, at least to me.

Is an Aneurysm a Type of Stroke? Is a Stroke a Type of Aneurysm? WHICH IS IT!?! aka I Hate Disorders with No Symptoms!

I used to say stroke, then aneurysm for variety, but the more I heard people talking about one or the other, I realized that I had made a mistake. So to have my dear readers not make the same mistake, an aneurysm is different from a stroke, yet commonalities exist.

Flint Rehab says, "The big difference is that a stroke is an event and an aneurysm is a condition." That didn't make sense to me because you can have multiple strokes and then that would be a condition. But the pictures from Flint tell all you would need to know.

Explaining a stroke:

A stroke occurs when the supply of blood in the brain is blocked by either a clogged artery (ischemic stroke) or burst artery (hemorrhagic stroke).

When a stroke occurs, it deprives brain cells of oxygen-rich blood (https://stroketales.blogspot.com/2019/06/oxygen-getting-to-brain-cells-is.html) and leads to brain damage. As a result, a stroke can result in massive or minor symptoms and requires immediate medical attention!

Explaining in aneurysm:

A saccular aneurysms – also known as “berry aneurysms” – involves a large bulge in an artery that resembles a berry hanging off a branch.

A fusiform aneurysms involves the artery bulging in all directions.

You can have an aneurysm without any symptoms. However, once an aneurysm in the brain ruptures, it leads to a hemorrhagic stroke (the commonality between stroke and aneurysm), which is likely where the confusion between the two conditions occur.

Although an aneurysm can occur in the abdomen or chest, I am talking about cerebral aneurysm which occurs in the brain. 

A stroke requires immediate attention.

The aneurysm is different because unruptured brain aneurysm doesn’t usually cause any symptoms. But if the aneurysm grows larger or ruptures, then symptoms occur.

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of an unruptured brain aneurysm are varied:

• Dizziness
• Mild or severe headache
• Blurred or double vision
• Seizures

Risk factors that develop over time include:

• Older age
• Cigarette smoking
• High blood pressure (hypertension)
• Drug abuse, particularly the use of cocaine
• Heavy alcohol consumption

Sometimes, a brain aneurysm can leak a small amount of blood, which is called a sentinel bleed which results in the worst headache ever. Emergency medical attention is needed because it often leads to a severe rupture.

An aneurysm rupture can mean bleeding into the brain, thus a hemorrhagic stroke. It's called a subarachnoid hemorrhage, the symptoms of which are:

• Drooping eyelids
• Loss of consciousness
• Sudden, severe headache
• Neck stiffness
• Blurry or double vision
• Sensitivity to light
• Seizures
• Nausea or vomiting

Treatment for stroke and aneurysm are different, but there is some overlap.

Here’s the main difference between how a stroke and an aneurysm differ:

• When a stroke is caused by a blood clot, that is, ischemic stroke, treatment usually involves a clot-dissolving drug called tPA or surgery to remove the clot.
• When stroke is caused by a burst artery, that is, hemorrhagic stroke, treatment often involves surgery.
• While small aneurysms are often benign and left alone, large aneurysm are often surgically treated in order to prevent rupturing.

Four different options for unruptured brain aneurysms are:

Aneurysm clipping

When a large berry aneurysm is found in the brain, doctors may recommend an aneurysm clipping, where a tiny metal clip is surgically placed to isolate the aneurysm and prevent rupturing.

Coil embolization

Endovascular flow diversion

When a clipping or coiling won’t suffice, an endovascular flow diversion may be implemented. During this surgery, a tightly woven mesh tube is inserted into the artery to prevent blood from entering the aneurysm.

Artery occlusion and bypass

When an aneurysm isn’t accessible or too damaged, a bypass may be performed. During this surgery, tiny metal clips are used to completely block flow from the artery. The blood flow is then rerouted via vessel grafting by taking an artery from somewhere else and adding it to the problem area.

Treatment for a ruptured brain aneurysm, that is, a hemorrhagic stroke: 

A ruptured brain aneurysm which is a hemorrhagic stroke is usually treated with a craniotomy, where a surgeon removes part of the skull and clips the ruptured artery to stop the bleeding. Once the aneurysm is treated and normal blood flow is restored in the brain, stroke rehabilitation can begin to recover from the side effects caused by a brain bleed.

And this from the Mayo Clinic. Most brain aneurysms, however, don't rupture, create health problems or cause symptoms. Such aneurysms are often detected during tests for other conditions.

Oh, great. Another thing to worry about: an undetected, unruptured brain aneurysm with no symptoms. 

I'm suddenly reminded of what Julius Caesar once said: "As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can." 

You got that right, Julius!