A Christian Inspires a Jew to Believe in God Once Again

I wrote this short piece for the newsletter that’s coming. But I  decided to share it with all of you, my loyal readers worldwide. For a little more than 8 years after I had my stroke, I lost faith in God. Why, dear God, did you let that happen to me? I asked repeatedly, begging, imploring.

But then I heard Clem Suder talk about his faith in my online support group and especially his Live at 5 on Facebook, and something clicked as if God was speaking to him. Clem is a Christian and a veteran who has a brain injury; I am a Jew who has never served and had a stroke. But we share the brain injury and God. You are witnessing the outcome here in my writing this statement:

Fact: Having a stroke is not a good thing. I got mine from Protein S Deficiency. Others got theirs from too much fatty foods or too high blood pressure or smoking or diabetes or something else completely unknown to them. Whatever the reason, it turns your life around, and your family's life, too, because you're a different person now. Depressed? Frustrated? Low self esteem? I get it because I know as a stroke survivor, and depending on the severity, you may have many more reasons to give up. Or die.

But here's something, after 10 years, I learned about myself. As the years went on, I am more compassionate, wanting to donate to causes when I don't have much money left at all. I am more easy going now, letting things go with the flow, which is new to  me, having worked many jobs where the pressure was too much to bear. And the most important thing now in the after effects of the stroke (and trust me, there are after effects) is when I do good for other people, I don't expect anything in return. No quid pro quo, as the expression goes. 

So I am a better person now as I approach the end of the tunnel. And yes, for all the mistakes I made in the past--like cursing, hissy fits, and gossiping--I am turning my life around for the better. I hope when the Judgement Day comes, He'll see it that way.

And while I have your attention, please contribute, even a dollar makes a difference, to the campaign I started in GoFundMe.com for Clem as me, the editor. Clem produced a video book and now, he wants to take those same words and publish it in book form. He has seen Heaven, and Hell in both a metaphoric and real sense. You can search for Clem by typing “Clem veteran” on GoFundMe and you will see his image,  asking for support in publishing his book. Thanks for whatever you can do.

Can Hypnosis Improve Me as a Stroke Survivor to the Point Where I Could Abandon My Cane? Read What the Hypnotists Told ME!

I had this idea because I'm desperate to get better faster. I'm in the same holding pattern for almost a year. Sad to say, I've plateaued. But could I get better? No one will give me a definitive answer because no one has a crystal ball--my own current physical therapist least of all! Hypnosis, I thought, to make the muscles go beyond where they currently are, in order to make me walk again without the assistance of my 4-legged cane! 

I'm not going off topic, but this is something that needs to be said from the top. I'm from Philadelphia, home of the cheesesteak and soft pretzels. Other places I visited are known for other things, like New York is known for its pizza. Florida is known for its big bugs and DisneyWorld. Maine is known for its lobsters. But Southeast Portland, where I am now, is filled with all kinds of storefronts and buildings I just didn't see in other places, like a lot of, an inordinate amount of, Natural Remedies and Acupuncture run by naturopaths and Hypnosis run mostly by psychologists (or those purporting). Portland is the land of possibilities. Not guarantees, mind you, but a whole bunch of probable maybes.

I made an appointment with someone whose card reads: Whole Individual Counseling: Counseling the Array of Self Growth. Hoo, boy! (Another Philadelphia expression, at least I always say it). Anything goes in Portland. 

I'm going to paraphrase what he told me, scribbled down right after I left, and the words in brackets are what I thought to myself. Here's the paraphrased conversation from the counselor:

This is one thing that might [operative word here] help: I can give you a recording that you may listen to on a daily basis, and you can imagine your legs and arms moving with your eyes closed. [No talk of hypnosis yet]. Unlike the movies where a hypnotist gets somebody to do unlikely things, the thing that might work for you is listen to the recording several times a day. [No talk  of hypnosis still]. With your eyes closed, imagine moving your thumb. [I didn't, of course. My arm has been dead for 10 years]. He asked how long I went to physical therapy as the session was ending, and I said, Off and on for 10 years. [So the typical physical therapy was the fallback. And then the session was a minute from ending]. You might try a clinical psychologist. [I asked, but he didn't recommend one]. 

So I tried three "clinical psychologists" who advertised their sessions as such, and they all said, more or less, the same thing: Hypnosis can only control what you're able to do physically. [To say it another way, I can't do most shit]. Hypnosis can help with anger management, insomnia, phobias, and fears but not walking cane-less.

So with that hypnosis idea ended, I imagined ways to stay happy yet challenged. Aside from writing which, in itself, is challenging to the hilt, I love being alive and, come to think of it, life is a challenge, too.