The hurricane came on slowly, like a tiger stalking his prey. All I heard was the low wind, but then there's usually wind on the beach block of South Jersey's shoreline, especially in the downtime from fall to spring. The fall was over a third finished, but there it was: Hurricane Sandy.
Sunday, October 28.
My friend's mother died, and we had a graveside service at the shore where she lived for over fifty years. The wind was already blowing, but the gusts slowed down as if the wind wanted to pay its respect to his mother, too.
My friend motioned for me in my wheelchair to walk to the chairs the cemetery had set up for family members, but I sat on the edge of the crowd, not trusting myself on the uneven terrain, common to all cemeteries. (You may not have noticed because you don't walk in my shoes and you may not have had a stroke). The service ended a half hour later, and we all went back to his sister's house in Philadelphia which was sixty miles away for the after-gathering.
While in Philadelphia, a few people said that the bridges to the barrier islands, where we are from in New Jersey, would close down at 4 o'clock, so we left his sister's house at 2:45 in order to make the 4 pm deadline. It started to rain, and he took the Atlantic City Expressway, intending to go from Exit 44 to Exit 2, to make it back in time.
But near Exit 5, the police slowed us down by having one patrol car in each of the three lanes and, at Exit 5, the patrol cars stopped and another officer, who was standing in that wide-legged stance that only policemen and workout guys have, told us to turn around.
''She had a stroke," he said, pointing to me, "and I'm returning to the house to get her pills." It was no lie. I needed my Coumadin.
But the patrolman must have heard that excuse before, so he repeated himself. "You have to turn around."
My friend, who knew the back roads, went onto Exit 5 and kept going beyond where he should have gone. He took a circuitous route which took us close to his home, but we still had to go over the bridge. At 3:59 pm, he took the bridge which closed at 4 o'clock promptly. I know because we were the last car that was allowed to go over. The roads were empty and the town was ghost-like.
When we pulled up to his place, I saw and heard the roaring ocean from his house.
"The ocean looks dangerous," I said, "but the ride was thrilling." I know it sounds crazy, but you weren't there. Those two, diametrically opposed statements were both accurate. We went to bed early, him, because the funeral day was tiring, and me, because I love a storm when I'm safely inside and under the covers. But this storm was different, with strong winds at 75 mph that howled and moaned, and I was afraid the windows would break.
But before I slept, I thought about all the ways we had fucked up this world. Not me, specifically, but "me" as part of the world--wars, pollution, homelessness, hunger, the super PACs? I wondered, was G-d trying to give us a last warning? Was this flood representative of the last one, involving the Bible's Noah and the Ark? Was G-d even so tired of us that He decided to start over? Was this it, the east coast version of the Big One?
With so many questions to myself, asked and answered, I slept for 2 hours that night.
Monday, October 29.
We awakened to a flooded street. According to my friend, the last time the streets were flooded was in 1962 with a nor'easter that blew out the boardwalk. With Sandy, the sea water covered our driveway ramp and started to creep up to the bottom step of the entrance to his home. The storm was encroaching. We lost power, electric and gas, somewhere around 11 am. But we couldn't leave because we were trapped. So we sat in the house that day with nothing to do but stare at the flood or read a book when the light let us.
When I thought that I couldn't stand it any longer, I said, "We could microwave popcorn," I said, but he replied, "No power. Remember?"
A little while later, he said, "You could check your computer for the weather," but I replied, "I have no battery power left."
When it got dark, my friend made us dinner--the leftovers from the funeral food--and, being the ultimate saver, he used a flashlight to find a new headlamp that was a Christmas gift from nine years ago. He put the batteries in and I was a virtual miner, focusing the light on my head at the stairs to the bedroom. He led the way, with the light on the next step, and all the ones after, to guide me. When I reached the top, I moved toward the bed. He helped me into bed and, because I hadn't hardly slept the night before, I slept deeply.
There's an old joke: Call me anything, but please don't call me late for dinner. And please don't call me a hypocrite, either. Three days a week, I have done physical therapy at Rehab X, twelve times so far.
If you read my book, "The Tales of a Stroke Patient," though I said horrific things about my stay there for seven weeks, I didn't say one bad word about the physical therapists. So I was not being a hypocrite when I returned to Rehab X for physical therapy. That's a roundabout way of saying the physical therapists were the best, at least according to the sign they have plastered in the therapy window for winning the local newspaper's award.
Anyway, there were three parts to the routine that lasted for about an hour and was the same every time. First, I got stretched on the mat with the physical therapist helping me lift, spread, and bend my legs. My hamstrings, quadriceps, and ankles were challenged, and though it hurt, it was a good hurt. Next, I went on the elliptical, a cardio training machine that mirrors walking up the stairs and running, working large
muscle groups, in my legs and one functional arm in a continuous
movement.Finally, I used the parallel bars, with exercises like side-stepping and lifting my leg on the affected side as high as it would go. My therapist gave me all her time, but occasionally, when the therapy center was crazy busy, the therapist at most had two patients.
I don't know how long she stretched me, but I got up off the mat and attempted to sit until my balance was restored. After about a minute, I walked over to the elliptical machine, taking a minute more. I noticed a pale, elderly man with plush, white hair sitting in a waiting-room-type chair with arms, next to me in the therapy room. His head was down as if he was sleeping. With the therapist's help, I sat down on the elliptical and I cycled for 14 minutes. I know it was 14 minutes because the elliptical machine had a timer.
I was unclear who noticed it first as I was getting off the elliptical and going to the parallel bars, the third part of my routine, but the elderly man was still sleeping, or so it seemed. I also don't know how long he was that way because he was upright in his chair.
Two therapists went over to him and screamed his name to no avail. My anxiety level went through the roof. Four doctors, three paramedics, the two therapists, and one nurse appeared which reminded me of the song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Tra la la. That's how my mind works now, three and a half later. I'm all over the place.
Anyway, the therapist made a comment. "This happens way more times than it should," said my therapist, talking to me as if I was a confidante. Then catching herself, which I considered over-sharing, she said, "Let's concentrate on the parallel bars." But it was too late. My interest was piqued.
"How often does it happen? Once a week, once a month?" I asked. "And why does it happen 'way more times than it should,'" quoting the therapist. I was interrogating her as if she spilled the beans, which she had.
But that was all she said. She clammed up and started to lift her legs, demonstrating what she wanted me to do on the parallel bars.
The National Institute on Disability and Rehabilitation Research funded an article, written by Mark Sherer, Ph.D. and others, that said that unconscious people with no eye opening could be in a comatose state. Complete unconsciousness with some eye opening and wakefulness as well as sleep is called a vegetative state. So, according to that article, I was in a coma for 8 days when I had my stroke. Characteristics of someone in a coma include no eye-opening, unable to follow instructions, no speech or other forms of communication, and no purposeful movement. That was me.
"Mr. Smith" didn't look conscious, either, and I had no clue whether he was in a coma or had turned vegetative, but I didn't see his eyes open as long as he was in the room which was at least 14 minutes from the time he was noticed. Fortunately for him, Rehab X is connected to a hospital which is on the other side.
But I have questions. Did he a brain hemorrhage? A heart attack? Did he take more--or less--medication than he should? Wasn't anybody watching him? It was at least 14 minutes from the time I sat down on the elliptical that he was alone. Maybe the therapists all thought he was sleeping. But in light of the activity in the therapy room, that didn't seem logical. The paramedics transferred him to the gurney and "Mr. Smith" and the entourage left.
What if it was me with another stroke? Would anybody notice? For at least 14 minutes, he was there. The elliptical had timed it. But I had gone too far in my recovery to go backwards now. So I did the exercises that the therapist requested while concentrating on my anxiety which could be somewhat controlled if I set my mind to it.
When I returned to therapy the next time, with my mind working in a strange way again, I saw the empty chair, and I thought of Clint Eastwood.
For all those who didn't see the event when Mitt Romney was nominated by the Republican Party with accompanying hoopla, Eastwood addressed an empty chair which was occupied, though not virtually, by Barack Obama, criticizing the President. Eastwood is a Republican. It was not his finest moment. Neither was it for "Mr. Smith."
