It's New Year's Eve, for cryin' out loud. It seems I'm all over the place, but wait a minute. I promise focus.
David Letterman is a funny man. And "The Top Ten" lists don't hurt his image. Beginning in 1985 with "The Top Ten Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas," the lists still go on today. I'll wait for a promo of "The Top Ten," and if they're going to be on the show, I'll plan to watch them, but fatigue overtakes me sometimes and sleep is my go-to activity.
Anyway, almost 30 years later from "The Top Ten" inception, I decided to do my own, and these are my "Top Ten New Year's Resolutions for 2014," from this stroke survivor, in reverse order, inspired by Letterman:
10. I will accept the re-birthday expression that a lot of stroke survivors say even though I don't get it.
9. I won't demean doctors in front of other people, but when I get them alone, watch out if they deserve it.
8. I won't even think about going to Black Friday again.
7. I will argue endlessly with therapists if they say my window for improvement closed after the first year.
6. I promise to laugh at least once a day, because sadness all the time is counterproductive.
5. I will support medical marijuana for pain always even though I don't use it.
4. I won't abandon my pantiliners, just in case.
3. I will never say "I had a fuckin'stroke" again, even when I'm frustrated.
2. I will endorse people writing their stroke stories, too, even though it means competition.
And here's the number one of my stroke resolutions:
1. I will always be grateful when I wake up to a new day.
So at the year's end, here's where I am, recovery-wise, after almost five years. I take bigger strides than I did before, using my lifeline, my quad cane. My arm is hemiplegic --paralyzed-- but I am getting back some shoulder movement that I didn't have before. I don't want to kill myself as I did right after the stroke that lasted, on the self-extermination issue, for one year. I don't have PLC --pathological laughing and crying-- anymore. All told, I'm better. But I have a long way to go. On the other hand, where am I going anyway?
Right before the year's end, I want to give a shout out to Ricky Brown for his blog, http://www.apoplectic.me.
Even though his first name doesn't look like it, from an American's
point of view, Ricky is Scottish and currently resides in Edinborough.
He is very committed to stroke and recovery. If he ever returns to the
states, I'll go to Brooklyn, his old haunt, to meet him. Thank you,
Ricky, for sharing. And last but not least, I want to give kudos for Amy
Shissler's blog, http://mycerebellarstrokerecovery.com.
She offers many useful insights to stroke recovery. There are many more
stroke blogs too numerous to mention. Google "stroke blog" and see what
comes up!
And one last announcement: This is from
Dr. Mario Trucillo of the American
Recall Center, a brand new medical
information site aimed at bringing consumers the most up-to-date
FDA information in easy to understand, plain language terms.
"After suffering a stroke, one can easily become overwhelmed
with questions about what comes next. From types of care are to prescription
safety, caregivers and survivors are tasked with the responsibility of finding
answers, without a clear solution on where to go first. The American
Recall Center aims to make that easier.
"Our site provides news and safety alerts covering an expansive
variety, from prescription drugs to hip
replacements. Our goal is to take the wordy news and breakthroughs
from the FDA and put them in plain-language, giving patients necessary
information before they visit the doctor about their health and prescription
drugs. It is our mission to empower individuals with trustworthy and
easily-accessible information.
"A new feature that I’m especially proud to introduce is Patient
Safety Alerts, a customizable notification system that sends updates
to your inbox on the drugs that directly affect you. With this feature, you can
check off the drug or medical device categories taken by you or someone you
care for, and whenever the FDA issues a safety update on a drug/device in that
category we will send you an update in our signature easy-to-understand terms.
Save time and stress by signing up for Patient Safety Alerts and never worry
about finding out about a recalled or unsafe drug too late again."
And this announcement is from me: Be safe and don't drink and drive in close proximity to each other. Happy New Year to all!
In 2011, The Huffington Post reported this story: "A Black Friday shopper who collapsed while shopping at a Target store in West Virginia went almost unnoticed as customers continued to hunt for bargain deals. Walter Vance, a 61-year-old pharmacist who reportedly suffered from a prior heart condition, later died in the hospital. Witnesses say some shoppers ignored and even walked over the man's body as they continued to shop. Friends and co-workers, saddened to learn of his death, expressed outrage over the way he was treated by shoppers. Lynne Vance [Walter's wife] said six nurses shopping in the store came to her husband's rescue and performed CPR until paramedics arrived."
This wasn't the only incident to put America's biggest shopping day in a bad light. There were more, and these are some of the horrific
highlights: In 2006, a man shopping at Best Buy was recorded on video assaulting another shopper. In the same year, raucous Walmart shoppers at a store outside Columbus, Ohio, quickly poured in the doors when the store opened, plastering a few employees against stacks of merchandise. When the crowd rushed to grab gift certificates that had been trickled down from the ceiling, nine shoppers in a California mall were injured, including an old woman who had to be rushed to the hospital.
In 2008, two people were fatally shot during a fight at a Toys 'r Us in Palm Desert, California. In 2010, a Wisconsin woman was arrested as she cut into the line outside of a Toys 'R' Us store, and threatening to shoot other shoppers who tried to voice their opinion. On Black Friday 2012, two people were shot outside a Wal-Mart in Florida during a dispute over a parking space. I remember those incidents and more.
Every year, Black Friday (the term originated in Philadelphia) inches a little closer to exterminating Thanksgiving by the stores opening earlier and earlier, taking a bigger bite out of Thanksgiving. I mean, THANKSGIVING, that wonderful time of year when the whole family gets together to show off their kids and tell everybody how prosperous their lives are. (At least, it was so in my family). It's all a sham, but don't mess with tradition. Traditions are what keeps families together, at least according to the advertisements.
We once went to Black Friday while we were visiting my son in Pittsburgh. We arrived, my son from Boston and I, at a Best Buy store
at around 3 am. The store was opening at 6 am. The one from Pittsburgh said we were nuts to go. We stood out there in sub-freezing temperatures to buy a bargain GPS. But, hey, Black Friday has come to be a tradition, too. But with all that pushing and shoving once the store opened, I vowed I would never go again.
That was ten years ago. And now, I had a stroke to contend with, but I never go out alone and it was 11 am. I thought about Black Friday again as I was going to get my nails done, not the death of the pharmacist but Black Friday in general.
"Hey! I always love a great challenge! Do you want to stop by the mall on the way to just see what everybody's buying?" I asked.
My aide looked at me, and her look wasn't at all good.
"Really? You want to go shopping with those lunatics?"
I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know what she was thinking.
We were now two blocks away from the mall.
"'I'm just sayin'. I want to go in and get the experience all over again." I was in the mood to do, not think.
This time, the aide didn't look at me. She didn't speak either. She just drove, but she took me in the mall direction. Despite the heavy traffic, like some foreboding sign of crowds-soon-to-appear, I went right on.
"The mall's right over there," I pointed. We had a block to go, and it took us 9 minutes to go one block, or converted to travel time, 1.5 miles an hour. (That's what I do a treadmill).
Anyway, when we arrived at the mall, she couldn't find a parking place. In fact, there were cars parked where parking spaces weren't. The thought of the pharmacist who died and the woman who used pepper spray and the fatigued Target worker in the canal and the assaulters and the shooters all came back to me in one collage. My brain was on overload. I changed my mind but didn't admit it. Besides, I knew she wouldn't get back in time before my time with her was up.
"Maybe later, OK?" I said.
She broke out into a smile, the first of the day.
