Emotional Intelligence: Most Brain-Injured People Have It

Do you know what Emotional Intelligence is? Let's pause for a moment and define it. 

Emotional Intelligence is not one or a few but ALL of your brain's mindset. They include the following:

• Social Skills
• Motivation
• Empathy
• Self Awareness
• Self Regulation

SOCIAL SKILLS

It's foremost to know where you are and where you're going. Otherwise, it's like trying to make a long trek without a map.  First, you won't know how to start. Second, you won't know if you are drawing close or just walking around your destination. That is, you understand what your current social strengths and limitations are. 

Brain-injured people, after awhile, should know their strengths and limitations. 

MOTIVATION

There are many theories that point to why people do the things they do. But my favorite is the Drive Theory in which people are motivated to an action to reduce the tension that is caused by unmet needs. You might be motivated to eat in order to reduce the state of hunger.

The drive theory is based on homeostasis, the idea that the body is working to maintain a certain state of balance.

Brain-injured people ultimately know what to do to avoid scary behavior that cause their equilibrium to go haywire, not at first but after repetitive falls, for example.

EMPATHY

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to communicate that understanding back in return. It's the ability understand people's situation and feelings from their point of view.

Many brain-injured people say, "You can only know how this [stroke or other brain injury] feels if you were to see it for yourself."

SELF AWARENESS

From understood.org, people with self awareness can: 

• Recognize their strengths and challenges
• Understand and talk about their needs and feelings
• Recognize other people's needs and feelings
• See how their behavior affects others
• Develop a growth mindset and learn from their mistakes

Brain-injured should be able to accomplish all on the list, with practice and lots of it.

SELF REGULATION

Dr. Steven Stosny says in Psychology Today, "Consistent self-regulation requires focus on your deepest values rather than feelings. It's also the best way to feel better. Violation of values invariably produces bad feelings, while fidelity to them eventually makes you feel more authentic and empowered." 

In other words, taking feelings out of the picture, what is the right thing to do?

Most brain-injured people, at least the hundreds--maybe more--that I met online (and after awhile) are more patient and inwardly compassionate, looking at what is right--the core values--than focusing on feelings which makes you angrier, frustrated, hateful. 

To all of the brain-injured people out there, wouldn't you agree that I'm talking, with lots of repetitions, acquiring emotional intelligence is already almost there for you? If necessary, think about it and read this post again to understand my point of view. 

We got this, right?

My Blog "The Tales of a Stroke Patient and More" Has An Update!

I stand by that old expression that has been attributed to so many: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I hate change but accept it--eventually.  

So I'm happy to announce on this snowy Christmas eve that The Tales of a Stroke Patient and More blog has a new home. After over 700,000 readers around the world (except Antarctica), I switched apps, a treacherous step indeed, and so I had to change where it now resides: 

https://talesofastrokesurvivor.blog

Coupled with the location change was a name change. There were two: I dropped the article "The" and the unneeded "And More" in the title. And after almost 13 years, which just seem like last month, I am definitely a survivor.

My memory of that place, the dreaded rehab center in Pomona, New Jersey, still remains, and I'm reminded of another quote said by Edward de Bono: "A  memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen."  

Anyway, so there it is. New location. New name. (And just in time for the) New Year.